musings

I am writing a book. So I'm listening to 80s cult classic heavy pop music to get me in the mood. It's interesting because I didn't go to junior high in the 80s, yet the music is where I draw some of my inspiration. My protagonist is in junior high and she's based somewhatish on yours truly. A little daunted by this undertaking, because it's my first full attempt at a YA novel. I figure that this summer, should I go summer jobless, I'll devote much of my time to novel composing. And 80s music. Lots of the 80s up in hur.

The move to the married people house is done in small doses. I grabbed a section of hangers, some with clothes still hanging for dear life, from my closet and shoved the armful in my passenger car seat. Another drive back and forth. I did get to watch The King's Speech at my parents' house though. thunder. <--That's what I just heard. I have headphones on, the TV on, yet the thunder still creeps into conversation. I like using creeps as a verb. It's less offensive than the noun form.

I may get to spend some of the night in the company of a good friend. Once I got married my time was spent more in more staring at the walls of my new house wondering where I was going to start--unpacking or cleaning? Cooking or laundry? So, it's nice to get to stroll about the town in the evening and leave those concerns for another day.

Always something there to remind me.

Random tip: Let your husband sleep on the couch when he wants to. It's one heckofuva couch.

One of THOSE Days

When I woke up this morning I didn't look any different. In fact, I walked in the bathroom and looked in the mirror just to see. Nope, still the same remnants of mascara and small team of pimples scattered randomly on my cheeks, as if someone spread them out as if to take over my face, slowly and stealthily. What I felt was different than what I saw. I felt a crash of the waves in my stomach against a distant shore.

I picked up the phone and dialed a business, in search of summer employment. Happily distracted with good news, I shimmied into clothes that created confidence and carefully drew on gold eyeliner that sounds scarier than it looks. I marched out the door in Jessica Simpson red suede heels that would later draw an "I like her shoes," from a passerby in a parking lot. I arrived at my destination and later left the building with my shoulders slightly slumped; I just filled out an application. No impromptu interview.

With the ominous start to my day, yet perhaps I dramatize, I should not be surprised that many things I saw that day upset me. Why could I not be like so and so? When would it be my turn to do such and such? Whatever I saw became a cause for bouts of anxiety and a lowering of my self-esteem. Had I forgotten my ability to light up a room, at least my rooms at both my house and my parents' house, with my loud laughter? What about the girl who throws words across a computer screen with the quick action of her finger tips along the keyboard? qwerty squared. My skills were long past my recollection. All I cared for was an ugly sort of sulkage.

Yes, I suppose I still sit sulking, slumped over in bed, typing this little account. I suppose my spirits are only slightly lifted. But my chin lifts when I think of the papers to grade and the pictures I will soon take. I am an educator. I am a photographer. I am talented, though the world has yet to see my full value.

I am a snail on a highway.

Anotha Hello!

Two years since I chattered away on this medium. This is a new post, a new day. A new sound of the familiar dinosaur cough ringing through the room. The husband dinosaur cough answers me back in the next room. Sundays are great days to catch up on photo editing and grading (when I remember to bring my students' work home)! This weekend was pretty neat. I went to a restaurant that had a bar and a band. I reveled in the country attire and the fact that drunk people hug and dance a lot. I watched sneakily from my table, an outsider to the drinks and the mayhem. I enjoyed my broiled vegetables and fried pickles and sammich though. Well, I guess I enjoyed people watching too. Who doesn't? The next day we went to Shane's parents house after an after-wedding shower some of the people in his hometown gave us. So so many towels. And a random assortment of lovely gifts. When we got back to my in-laws house we had the most delicious food and opened wedding gifts. As for the food, we feasted on deer meat, mashed potatoes, squash patties, green beans, and pickled green beans (for me). Shane has a big loving family that makes me feel like I am super loved and accepted. That feeling is the one we go out in the world looking for, and when people receive us with warmth, it is stellar. You know what I mean!

Why am I still posted on the "summer of giving" blog? Well it's like an expression I coined to explain one summer in which I wanted to reach out to others and myself with wisdom and wit. I was experiencing new things and wanting a forum to share what I learned. I think it's fine if I continue with the giving; hope you don't mind. :-)

Random Tip: Sway when you have a cough. It distracts the cough and lets you be coo cool.