Today I went to church with a woman I have loved as part of my family. The feeling hasn't changed. I agreed to go with her when she asked me weeks ago, and I looked forward to the day. I think that as members of different faiths it's natural to be apprehensive and, frankly, scared to experience other faiths as a welcomed guest. I have to say that when I was asked I felt honored and that saying yes would be the fitting response.
This morning I wondered what to wear to church. What I wear to the masjid is modest and discreet, but I personally like to adorn myself beautifully (i.e. colorfully) in preparation with meeting my Creator in prayer. Today I chose a dress, thick sweater tights, and boots. I felt confident in this attire, and I walked out the door ready for the trek, as I had to drive about an hour to meet her. When I got in the vicinity I brilliantly went to the wrong church, and as the service out there is sketchy I could not reach who I was going with for a while until I picked up a bit of service again and was able to receive her phone call. I got to the service a little late, but happy to be at the right place finally. I walked in and was warmly greeted by my guide and the pastor of the church. I had been there before in respect of her family at a time of loss, so I was familiar with some of their practices. They opened the service through singing hymns, and they went into a Sunday school meeting. I listened and picked up on what I could as a new person. Then more singing and a sermon, followed by prayer requests and offering collection. I was tempted to quip in with my personal prayer requests, but I decided I would save it for a place I feel more comfortable, in my own private supplications. After the service was over my hand was shook a few times by the members, and people thanked me for coming; they hoped to see me again.
Now this is where I get to my apology part. I had a great time, I learned more about this particular group of people. I watched a beautiful intent illustrated in their congregation. I have an appreciation for them and a respect for their beliefs. But I have a duty to my unique beliefs and fulfilling the betterment of myself through Islam, my chosen and given faith. So I wanted the strangest thing. I wanted to give those kind warm people what they wanted. I wanted to tell them, "I believe what you believe. I am one of you," because sometimes that is how much I want to make people happy. But in the end I have to be true to what will bring me personal satisfaction and joy.
I can only give them my words of gratitude and learn from this experience.
God makes beautiful kindred spirits in people of all faiths. As long as people have a strong desire to serve God I find a brother and a sister among that group. I long to return to One Religion, One Guided People.
I wanted to make this post more personal to me today. Thanks for sharing the page with me.
May you be rewarded for your struggles and your triumphs,
Saira
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